Category Archives: Marriage

Slow To Simmer or Quick To Boil

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Yesterday, my husband and I was talking about temperament and how opposite attract. I admit, at first I thought that saying really went to interests or maybe personalities, but I never considered temperament as well.

Looking at my relationship with my husband, I notice that we have different temperament when it comes down to handling stress or new situations; even the way we deal with anger is different. For instance, it takes me a while to get completely upset or annoyed with someone, or for me to lose my temper. I’m usually calming myself down and giving myself the benefit of the doubt regarding the situation. Meaning I’m slow to simmer.

My husband on the other hand, he’s quick to boil. He doesn’t need to brood over the situation, if it bothers him now, it really bothers him now. While he’s quick to get upset, once when he let’s off steam then it’s fine to approach him. Me on the other hand, I stay upset longer.

What I have noticed is that other couples do have an opposite effect regarding temperament as well. With my parents relationship, my dad was quick to get upset, my mom took time. On the other hand, my grandmother (mom’s mom) was quick to boil but my grandfather was slow to simmer.

While looking at the two kinds, I notice that it really works with parenting as well. if one parent is easy to approach, usually you go to the calmer parent with the bad news first so that they can break it to the other one.

But I guess that is why we were attracted to the opposite personality / temperament to begin with.

In your family, are you quick to boil? Or slow to simmer?