Being The Family Therapist
Please close my door, the session will now begin.
Being a wife and mother I can see how our role has expanded into family therapy. As a wife, I already know that we are already in the position to lean on.
When my daughter gets upset with something, I can see that she’s going to have a melt down (or at least cry). Instead of distracting her from her emotions I dive straight into them. Personally, I feel like if I distract her from her feelings, then she will never really get used to them (but who really does?). All I’m trying to do for her in this sense is to help her understand what she’s feeling and that it’s okay for her to feel that way.
The crying lasts a fraction of a minute, and afterwards I explain to her why I couldn’t let her do something or let her have her way. Apparently, this works with her.
If my mother is upset with something, I find that I am her ear to lean on, and I’m okay with that. Sometimes, all a person really needs is someone who is willing to listen without judging.
If my husband has something bothering him, or would just like to talk about anything, again, i’m open for discussion. It doesn’t matter if it is a topic I know nothing about, i’ll learn. I’ll ask questions and truth be told, I am generally always interested in listening.
I think that there always someone in the family who is the family therapist. Not by calling or choice, but by design of personality.