Deserving of Friends

Last weekend was a friend’s birthday. I haven’t seen him in three years, and we haven’t talked to each other often. You could say that I used the word friendly loosely, but I don’t. I still consider him a friend.

Since it was his birthday, I sent him a personal card and a gift (printed birthday cake) so that he can know that there is always a friend here for him.

I’m lucky that he received the card on time and was delighted to read it. What I haven’t expected was for him to be guilty.

He says that he is undeserving of friends like me since he did a poor job being in contact with me. At first, I wasn’t quite sure what he was referring to, since I didn’t do that much better.

After assuring him that there are no hard feelings, and how I would like the friendship to work out, I had to explain to him that feeling guilty was not part of the plan.

I bring this up because too often we notice that we let relationships fail because we are too busy with life, but when things slow down for us, we expect everyone to drop everything too. But this is not the case.

In most cases, if you let a friendship fall apart, it’s hard to get it back together.

I guess in my case, I understand where he was coming from. He was trying to get his masters and teach and not be a failure, me on the other hand was trying my hand at marriage and raising a child.

Regardless, I’m lucky that my friendship with him is strong enough to withstand some time, and that we are able to just pick up where we left off.  I just hope we don’t do it too often.

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About KalleyC

I am a SAHM who recently found the love of blogging. I am also an avid reader who loves her nook.

Posted on March 24, 2011, in relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Your last sentence is paramount. Inadvertently creating soul ties with old friends and flames can wreak havoc on marriages–been there, done that, got the chips and tee-shirt and a lot of grieve to boot. Funny thing, chips gone (I ate em) I lost the tee-shirt along time ago; but the grief still lingers.

  2. I totally agree with you about recreating old ties with friends and old flames came really mess with your marriage. I always tell my husband that he wouldn’t have to worry about meeting an ex-boyfriend, because I don’t keep them in my lives. He also knows that if I have a friend he doesn’t quite trust, he can be open about it with me, and vice versa.

    Instead, we try to keep our communication open and if it is a friendship with the opposite sex (as with this case), he knows everything and is never left out.

    The friend who I was reconnecting with understands that my marriage with my husband does come first.

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